A revival

I’ve recently returned to this blog to make myself write and publish more poetry! Here is a poem I wrote recently:

Astral Breakdown

I cut off all my hair to feel something.

To no one’s surprise, it didn’t work.

Instead I saw myself unknown holding a now-dead pain,

left limp and loose, scattered

little needles

chiseling away down the

crevices of my shirt

clinging to my neck, as if to say, “Just hold on a little longer”.

It’s because we’re arguing again.

The knotted muscle in the jaw pops out like an eyeball

and I lose my train of thought

as I turn ghostly.

I know I am here but my mind is the undisturbed deep blue.

You said you weren’t hungry, but I could tell by the way

you flicked the crumbs across the plate

that things were over.

Sometimes you say I carry the spirit of a painter.

But I see myself in the colours on a canvas,

softened by turpentine.

I am brightened by toxic fumes and rough handling.

I saw myself in him once.

On an insignificant day, preparing an insignificant breakfast.

Tried to scoop it out of him like sifting

through a scuzzy mess, leftover poached egg water.

He emptied me down the kitchen sink.

Now I blink hard to remember how it felt