Being 23

I know this will sound like a horrendously cliched thing to say, but this is my blog so you can suck it up.

Being 23 is fucking difficult.

This is an age where you’re stuck in an awful limbo between the fun and safety of University but you’re also not in a stable position. I have started to categorise my happiness and I’ve been over-analysing and breaking down the importance of each one.

Job – this has been a rollercoaster for me, going into your first job out of university it’s so difficult not to put pressure on yourself. So many of my friends are at varying stages of their ‘career’ it’s strange to feel somewhat behind in certain aspects (cough salary) but also head of the game (I enjoy what I do). Something I’ve come to terms with is prioritising my motivations and pleasure in work rather than salary and traditional ‘progression’. This hasn’t stopped me from panic applying to teach abroad though…

Social Life – I was extremely anxious leaving university to see which of my friendships would ‘make or break’ the transition to working life. I didn’t have to worry as my friends have been amazing, and I’ve definitely become closer with my friends from home. There was always an accepted rift whilst people dispersed to their various universities, but it’s been lovely to see that uni friends really are friends for life!

Relationship – Going through a rough break-up was a catalyst for a lot of existential break downs at the end of 2018 and throughout 2019. I seem to have cursed myself with loving the challenge of long distance. I’m hoping this isn’t a sign about me and the Aquarius’ noncommittal ways. Only time will tell but this aspect of my life has settled down in recent months which is a relief.

Living Situation – Living in Oxford is rough. I won’t deny that I do not get along with this city. Not only is it one that’s geared towards families and students, there have been so many racist incidents recently that I can’t defend it. For such a small city, there is remarkably little to do for young professionals and I’m scared that I’ll be stuck here forever. A dramatic ending to my categories.

Trying to balance these four categories has been a bit of a logistical nightmare for me and I imagine everyone in the world struggles with one aspect at some time in their life. For now, I am trying to balance things that make me happy now with things that will take investment to make me happy. I’m optimistic at this moment, so here’s to 23. Fuck u 2019.